School Starts

Day three of Sophomore year. Boy's life is very eventful. I don't think most people believe all the happenings. As Boy's mom, I take it in stride most days. My patience and perseverance amaze me. No, that's not right. I've always had patience and perseverance. What amazing me is how my patience and perseverance are applied to my life today. Oh, the places my life has taken me. Remember the 1980's Talking Heads song line, "This is not my life... How did I get here?"

I do get stressed some days. For instance, yesterday I spoke to Boy at 3pm. He was skating to Axis Group which  starts at 4pm. He said he wanted to go. Great, check that battle off my list. "Mom, don't be so paranoid. I'm skating to Axis right now." Boy's new word is "paranoid". Must be a 16 year old word. He uses it to describe himself and me. So, I get a call from Axis leader at 5pm, "Where's Boy?" OK, Boy told me two hours ago that he wanted to go to Axis Group and he was en route. Now I'm stressed. Why? Because I sense that Boy needs my help and I feel more comfortable with the "let them make their mistakes" method of parenting. So I do the drive - skate park, mall, school, no luck. I text Boy's buddy, Tug, asking for an honest response to Boy's location. Honest response - Tug hasn't seen Boy since 5th period PE. I decide Boy may be at Axis Group by now so I go there.

Yes, he's here, in line for a drug test. Boy looks sad, like he's out of options. I ask him where he's been. Blah, blah,blah. Lie, lie, lie. I tell him it's a bad lie and he should just be honest and say stuff like, "I don't want to be here," or "Last session ended badly so I was afraid to come back," or "I'm afraid the other kids are gonna laugh at me again." Sometimes Boy gets a sad look that I know is closer to depression than teenage funk. I don't want him to start the school year off in-patient. I shift into rescue mode. How can I alleviate stress from Boy? He says he doesn't want to be in Axis Group. I say, OK. He says he doesn't want to be in SpED classes. I say OK. He says his best class is Geometry because it's mainstream and there's no drama. He says he wants to do the right thing at school but it's hard in the midst of chaos. He's making sense. I'm happy when Boy has reasonable thoughts. The flickers of maturity are so gratifying.

As it turns out, I had a chat with Boy's SpED teacher after school. I sensed something was not right about Science class - he's suppose to be in Conceptual Physics. He came home after first day of school talking Earth Science. I hate that SpED classes are not as straight forward as mainstream classes. Boy's SpED science class is spilt in two groups - Biology and Physical Science. Boy has taken both courses already. Seems to be a perfect opportunity to move him to mainstream Conceptual Physics. Need to convince IEP team of that. Course changes permitted until end of week. Wish me luck.

Boy's only homework last night was Geometry. The assignment was very easy for him. Nice. Oh, one more thought. After school Boy said, "Taking Chemistry is a tall order." Those are not Boy's words. You know when your kid is just repeating something he's heard. I suspect school staff said that sentence to Boy yesterday. Boy has been talking about taking Chemistry all summer. Now he tells me it's a "Tall Order" meaning it is too hard for him. I read recently that 75% of all high school graduates in the United States have taken Chemistry. But someone at my son's school told him today that he should not reach that high. Grrrr.